This may rub a few people the wrong way but...it MUST be said!
One of my pet peeves, that I've seen close friends and/or associates do time and time again is TRY AND CHANGE THEIR MAN/WOMAN! There's no way possible that you can be successful at such an act. If you think you've lucked up...THINK AGAIN! What you see is what you get in some cases but not all....this is one time where that is indeed true. I'm not speaking on appearance either...think outside the box for a second.
If you're with someone and they're not quite what you intended for them to be, try to take the good with the bad and see how happy you are then. Don't put so much energy into what's not right and more into what IS right!
I'm sure many of you have seen the movie and/or play, 'Why Did I Get Married'....this is no different! Many relationships go through the things that those 4-5 couples went through on the regular. But it's best that you take it all in stride & keep it moving. NO ONE THAT HAS EVER WALKED GOD'S GREEN EARTH IS PERFECT...UNLESS YOU ARE JESUS CHRIST, AND I KNOW NONE OF YOU ARE!!! Like in the movie, you'll never get 100% of what you want...you have a choice of an 80 or a 20.
We tend to overlook the 80 believing we're getting something far more when we're cheating ourselves in reality (i.e. the 20)! If you can honestly tell me that you have changed somene into being the person you wanted him/her to be YOU'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!!! The person you are speaking of is the person he/she has always been...weak, a pushover, a coward, someone who doesn't understand individuality...plain and simple! You haven't changed them because even HE/SHE doesn't know who he/she REALLY is.
If you have to take a piece a paper & put a long line down the middle & write down your pros & cons...DO SO, some people are blind to the truth and may need a visual. There's NOTHING wrong with that...to each their own.
If you come up short on the pros & have more cons then maybe you are lying to yourself, your standards are WAAAAY higher than they should be or...HE/SHE IS JUST NOT RIGHT FOR YOU! That doesn't make them a terrible person either, just not one that can mesh well with your personality and characteristics.
***Be HONEST with yourselves and take all of this into consideration, I hope it works out...that is all!!!***
~♥Queen♥~
Saturday, December 12, 2009
There's a difference between being INSECURE & extra CAUTIOUS...right???
A lil food for thought:
How many of you can say...without the shadow of a doubt, that you're not INSECURE when it comes to relationships (infidelity & all of that)...not one little bit?! I'm sure the results would be little to NONE at ALL!
It's cool because I'm not all that sure myself but I'm a positive person so I'm good right? Maaaybe NOT! What if you are a guy who has a woman that has a child or children with another man or a woman that has a man who has the same situation? (whether they're on good terms or bad terms)
Here's another, what if your mate has been in several relationships & none of them lasted (of course) and the way things ended seemed far from a mutual understanding that the two of them came to & decided to just call it quits?! Or what if, 1, 2, or ALL of his/her past partners are considered to be a really good friend of his/her?
On a scale of 1-10 what do you think your ranking would be with insecure being 10 & extra cautious being 1? Is there REALLY a difference between the two anyway? I mean...you're not just cautious you're EXTRA cautious so, is that like subconscious paranoia or something on the sneak tip??? Hmmm, I wonder?!
How many of you can say...without the shadow of a doubt, that you're not INSECURE when it comes to relationships (infidelity & all of that)...not one little bit?! I'm sure the results would be little to NONE at ALL!
It's cool because I'm not all that sure myself but I'm a positive person so I'm good right? Maaaybe NOT! What if you are a guy who has a woman that has a child or children with another man or a woman that has a man who has the same situation? (whether they're on good terms or bad terms)
Here's another, what if your mate has been in several relationships & none of them lasted (of course) and the way things ended seemed far from a mutual understanding that the two of them came to & decided to just call it quits?! Or what if, 1, 2, or ALL of his/her past partners are considered to be a really good friend of his/her?
On a scale of 1-10 what do you think your ranking would be with insecure being 10 & extra cautious being 1? Is there REALLY a difference between the two anyway? I mean...you're not just cautious you're EXTRA cautious so, is that like subconscious paranoia or something on the sneak tip??? Hmmm, I wonder?!
Regardless of the number in which you would HONESTLY rank yourself as being...what's the ONE thing that EVERY relationship MUST have in order for it to be successful??? I did a post on this a while ago...it's the FOUNDATION to ALL relationships, T R U S T!!! So if your number is kind of high...where's the TRUST, where does that put your relationship?!
Just a thought! Comments are MORE than welcome & appreciated!!! :-)
~♥Queen♥~
Don't Pass Up A Good Thing...
In life, we tend to always want things in particular...or so we say! If you let us tell it, we know EXACTLY what we want in the many relationships that makes our journey here on Earth so......enchanting to say the least. But is that REALLY the case, do YOU really know what you want or are you talking out your ass and in reality you have not a clue?!
If you are certain that you know what you want, I applaud you & if you're basically stuck on stupid in the "relationship" department...don't fret because you are NOT alone! Many of us tend to THINK we have it all figured out but when the time comes and everything you said you wanted is within your grasp...what do you do?! CHOKE!!! It's human nature though, to me, & it's like they say, "you think you know but you have NO idea." That's not ALWAYS the case though.
I'll use myself as an example I guess. I'm 24 but not your average 24 year old female, I'm cut from a different cloth...sorta speak. I'm very feminine but I can hang with the fellas & my upbringing was different than most. I was forced to be an adult as a child so my mentality is different & most guys my age can be considered as mature to some but I'm wiser than my years. With this being the concept, issues arise because I seem to intimidate guys. Who ME? Yeah right...my thoughts EXACTLY!!! But that's the story of my life in a nutshell. So when the time comes for me to find my 'boo' I'm not the least bit phased by it. Prior to I'd say things like "awww, I need to find me a boo" but I wasn't all that serious, just at times when I wanted those late night 'one on one' conversations. You all know what I'm talking about right....RIGHT?!
So here comes 'boo' and I choked...well kind of. He may or may not have noticed it but I didn't quite take him seriously at first. It's not because of past relationships or anything but because of my outlook on men...not ALL but MOST! I'm thinking to myself "you can't be serious" but at the same time my conscience is saying go with the flow. I knew he was a great guy on a 'buddy/friend' level but anything more I didn't want to chance...regardless of our chemistry.
***The moral of the story is "DON'T PASS UP ON A GOOD THING!" Whether he/she is or isn't "the one" should be the LEAST of your worries, have fun...enjoy the experience that you'll get from it if nothing else. You'll NEVER know what God has in store for you at the end of that tunnel if you don't walk through it. Things may work out & they may not but are you willing to live your life in FEAR of not wanting to get your feelings hurt?! ANYTHING is possible!!!
I hope you enjoyed this and take my outlook on this topic into consideration.
~♥Queen♥~
If you are certain that you know what you want, I applaud you & if you're basically stuck on stupid in the "relationship" department...don't fret because you are NOT alone! Many of us tend to THINK we have it all figured out but when the time comes and everything you said you wanted is within your grasp...what do you do?! CHOKE!!! It's human nature though, to me, & it's like they say, "you think you know but you have NO idea." That's not ALWAYS the case though.
I'll use myself as an example I guess. I'm 24 but not your average 24 year old female, I'm cut from a different cloth...sorta speak. I'm very feminine but I can hang with the fellas & my upbringing was different than most. I was forced to be an adult as a child so my mentality is different & most guys my age can be considered as mature to some but I'm wiser than my years. With this being the concept, issues arise because I seem to intimidate guys. Who ME? Yeah right...my thoughts EXACTLY!!! But that's the story of my life in a nutshell. So when the time comes for me to find my 'boo' I'm not the least bit phased by it. Prior to I'd say things like "awww, I need to find me a boo" but I wasn't all that serious, just at times when I wanted those late night 'one on one' conversations. You all know what I'm talking about right....RIGHT?!
So here comes 'boo' and I choked...well kind of. He may or may not have noticed it but I didn't quite take him seriously at first. It's not because of past relationships or anything but because of my outlook on men...not ALL but MOST! I'm thinking to myself "you can't be serious" but at the same time my conscience is saying go with the flow. I knew he was a great guy on a 'buddy/friend' level but anything more I didn't want to chance...regardless of our chemistry.
***The moral of the story is "DON'T PASS UP ON A GOOD THING!" Whether he/she is or isn't "the one" should be the LEAST of your worries, have fun...enjoy the experience that you'll get from it if nothing else. You'll NEVER know what God has in store for you at the end of that tunnel if you don't walk through it. Things may work out & they may not but are you willing to live your life in FEAR of not wanting to get your feelings hurt?! ANYTHING is possible!!!
I hope you enjoyed this and take my outlook on this topic into consideration.
~♥Queen♥~
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